‘I’m not [making] the same mistake twice’: Frugal older brother refuses to cosign on a mortgage for his irresponsible 29-year-old sister after narrowly escaping financial ruin from an ex-wife's deceit

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 31, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Can you afford two mortgages? Most hard-working folks of the dwindling middle-class would adamantly say no, most likely dreaming of the day when they could afford just one mortgage. However, a bad-credit, entitled little sister felt that she deserved a mortgage more than anyone, even if it meant putting her older brother through the financial whiplash of becoming her cosigner. 

Because if this little sis were to suddenly miss her payments, which was looking pretty likely with her frivolous background, the frugal older brother would have to step in and be the financially responsible one… Again. 

After a crippling divorce and losing more than half of everything he'd ever saved or worked for, this older brother was rightfully wary of tying his name to anyone else's financial responsibilities. But the little sister didn't see it that way, and tried to strong-arm him into going out on a limb for her because that's apparently what family does. 

In my opinion, families shouldn't have to take on unmitigated risk so that another flighty relative can live above their means. But, then again, who am I to comment on another family's pecking order? You can be the judge of this one.

Advertisement
  • Contemplative man looking stressed out
    via Pressmaster

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for refusing to co-sign my sister's mortgage after what happened with my ex wife?
    via Charming_Sundae_7451
  • I (35M) got divorced three years ago. Back then I thought I was being the "nice guy" by putting everything in both our names the house, the car, even some of my savings. Big mistake.
    via Charming_Sundae_7451
  • When things fell apart, she walked away with half of everything and I had to basically start over. It was one of those experiences that changes how you see trust and money forever.
    via Charming_Sundae_7451
  • Man focused on texting
    via Pressmaster

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Fast forward to now my younger sister (29F) is buying a house with her fiancé. She asked me to co- sign the loan since her credit isnt great and said I'm the "financially responsible"
    via Charming_Sundae_7451
  • one in the family. I told her no. I said after everything I've been through, I just can't tie myself financially to anyone who's not me especially not in a relationship situation. She
    via Charming_Sundae_7451
  • got really upset and said I was punishing her for what my ex did. My parents took her side and told me I'm being too "cold" and should be helping family not acting like everyone's out to get me.
    via Charming_Sundae_7451
  • But honestly I cant do it. I still have trust issues and Im just trying to protect myself. So now I'm getting guilt- tripped for being selfish when all I'm trying to do is not make the same mistake twice. AITA for refusing to co-sign?
    via Charming_Sundae_7451
  • R2-Scotia ⚫ Never mind the ex, it's a huge risk. Can you afford 2 mortgages?
    via R2-Scotia
  • dncrmom⚫ You don't co-sign anyone's mortgage because it is stupid to do so. Unless you are wealthy enough to cover the payments as a gift. It isn't about trust, it is just facts. If the bank doesn't think she can pay, neither should anyone else.
    via dncrmom
  • Limelnternational856 ⚫ NTA Tell your parents they can co-sign the mortgage if they want to help family.
    via Limelnternational856
  • blondeheartedgodd... I'm sorry, but why don't the parents ever step in to help their own children in these situations? Why do they always lean on the sibling to do it?
    via blondeheartedgodd
  • NTA. If she can't qualify for a loan with her fiancee, then they shouldn't be buying a house until her credit improves.
    via blondeheartedgodd
  • Mysterious_Wave_1... . Honestly man cant blame you at all. After what happened, I'd be super cautious too. I just hope your sister's at least doing a prenup this time around no point repeating the same mistakes. You're not wrong for protecting yourself
    via Mysterious_Wave_1

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

family drama dads famiies drama kids brother siblings moms parenting dad story family sibling sister stories parent mom cousins parents
Scroll Down For The Next Article